Since starting the EdD I've taken a pragmatic approach to time,
reflecting on what I've had to stop doing (playing hockey, gardening,
reading novels) to fit in the study time. During one of the early EdD
sessions, I recall the guest speaker (a recent graduate) talked about
how often he would be spending time with his family, sharing physical
space with them, but often his mind was elsewhere. Thinking about his
doctorate.
I recognise this. Do this, do that, get the
jobs done in order to find the time to read and write and think. Another
memory of being told a doctorate is one of the most self indulgent
things you can do, that it's about having an intense relationship with
yourself.
I'm reflecting on this busy-ness now, because this week I've stopped. I've stopped doing. I've started being.
I've been with my family. We have shared time and space. No decisions
beyond the immediacy of the next moment. Collect the car. Pick up
something for tea. What time should we meet tomorrow? An unexpected
bereavement has brought us all together. Nothing more important than
being together.
And so we find ourselves in limbo.
That time between the immediate shock of the loss and the goodbye of the
funeral. Taking each day as it comes. Picking up everyday routines
while navigating the waves of the loss.
Yet now I find
myself with some time, with no obligation to others. An opportunity to
pick up the reading, writing, thinking. I have the time but not the
space. No head space for thinking, not with any kind of clarity. I've
read through my notes, but they make no sense. I tried to do some
writing, but the blank page was too strong. I can't bring myself to even
start the hunt for something to read.
The best I can do is accept that this is OK. I don't need to be doing anything. I can stop.
Monday 28 October 2019
Sunday 20 October 2019
further ponderings on my research topic
Picture the scene. A busy restaurant, a long table. Not a family outing, a work meal. What is the collective noun for a group of ESOL tutors?
I was sat around the middle of the table, opposite my fellow CELTA tutors. Looking to my right I noticed everyone, yes everyone, had completed their CELTA with us and when I pointed this out to my colleague he looked to the other half of the room to find that everyone, bar TWO people, had completed either the CELTA of the DTE(E)LLS with us. What's the collective noun for a home grown group of ESOL tutors?
Over the years, as new tutors have joined the team, it has become increasingly rare for our CELTA graduates to get jobs within the college, and with the removal of the need to gain the DT(E)LLS the ratio of home gown to externally trained teachers has shifted. Until this year, when I am so delighted that two graduates from the last cohort have joined the ESOL team.
This reminiscing brings me to my EdD. I am at the proposal writing stage, so two questions at the forefront of my thinking are 'What do I want to research and what will be the original contribution?'
Up until this morning, central in my thoughts was the use of syncronised chat in teaching practice. I am drawn to this for several reasons. It is something new, it's directly related to my practice & it involves a technology that I believe creates opportunities for learning which wouldn't exist if the technology didn't exist. After three meetings with my supervisor, I was finally able to hear her advice that this was not big enough for a doctoral study. I needed to position this use of technology more broadly and this fit with the reading I'd been doing on models of teacher education and the role of observation and reflective practice. My draft research questions are:
Then, yesterday, I looked back over the CELTA articles I'd already found and saw there was a gap in the literature relating to CELTA graduates, and what research has been done relates to graduates working internationally. Which has got me thinking about the UK FE context. As yet I have not found anything on CELTA graduates who transition into the UK ESOL profession.
This sounds really exciting and a potential research question could be 'How do graduates from a part time CELTA transition into English Language Teaching in the UK?'
BUT ......
this does not lend itself to action research. This past 12 months I have felt the pull/push of action research and the struggles of putting the research question before the methodology. Which brings me back to what has drawn me to the questions about reflective practice, observation and the use of syncronised chat in TP. I can see how this would fit an action research methodology.
And to be honest, I am now starting to feel very nervous that the vast amount of reading I've done, rather than help me narrow down my research questions is opening up more and more. The enormity of it all is looming large.
I was sat around the middle of the table, opposite my fellow CELTA tutors. Looking to my right I noticed everyone, yes everyone, had completed their CELTA with us and when I pointed this out to my colleague he looked to the other half of the room to find that everyone, bar TWO people, had completed either the CELTA of the DTE(E)LLS with us. What's the collective noun for a home grown group of ESOL tutors?
Over the years, as new tutors have joined the team, it has become increasingly rare for our CELTA graduates to get jobs within the college, and with the removal of the need to gain the DT(E)LLS the ratio of home gown to externally trained teachers has shifted. Until this year, when I am so delighted that two graduates from the last cohort have joined the ESOL team.
This reminiscing brings me to my EdD. I am at the proposal writing stage, so two questions at the forefront of my thinking are 'What do I want to research and what will be the original contribution?'
Up until this morning, central in my thoughts was the use of syncronised chat in teaching practice. I am drawn to this for several reasons. It is something new, it's directly related to my practice & it involves a technology that I believe creates opportunities for learning which wouldn't exist if the technology didn't exist. After three meetings with my supervisor, I was finally able to hear her advice that this was not big enough for a doctoral study. I needed to position this use of technology more broadly and this fit with the reading I'd been doing on models of teacher education and the role of observation and reflective practice. My draft research questions are:
- Are teacher education courses able to develop teachers' reflective skills?
- Does the CELTA course facilitate reflective thinking?
- Does syncronised chat during TP influence reflective thinking/conversations, if so, how?
Then, yesterday, I looked back over the CELTA articles I'd already found and saw there was a gap in the literature relating to CELTA graduates, and what research has been done relates to graduates working internationally. Which has got me thinking about the UK FE context. As yet I have not found anything on CELTA graduates who transition into the UK ESOL profession.
This sounds really exciting and a potential research question could be 'How do graduates from a part time CELTA transition into English Language Teaching in the UK?'
BUT ......
this does not lend itself to action research. This past 12 months I have felt the pull/push of action research and the struggles of putting the research question before the methodology. Which brings me back to what has drawn me to the questions about reflective practice, observation and the use of syncronised chat in TP. I can see how this would fit an action research methodology.
And to be honest, I am now starting to feel very nervous that the vast amount of reading I've done, rather than help me narrow down my research questions is opening up more and more. The enormity of it all is looming large.
Sunday 13 October 2019
Be Brave. Musings from #BrewEdFE 2019
#BrewEdFE brought together the different facets of my FE life. For Teacher Education there were my colleagues from the University of Huddersfield; there was my fellow ATLC; and from college it was a delight to see a maths contingency. From outside of 'work', there was also a smattering of the FE-HE hybrid Twitterati, and it was fabulous to catch up with one of my earliest Twitter friends.
I first chatted to Dr Alison Iredale on Twitter in those early days when we didn't really know what a #hashtag was for. It was at a conference some time around 2010. I don't recall which one, but it will undoubtedly have been something on learning technologies. Back then I either went to ESOL or tech events and NATECLA and the RSC-YH were prominent supporters of my CPD activity.
Meeting her again at #BrewEdFE we reminisced on our first meeting. She recalled what I was wearing and I remember her blue dress. It's a story I've told many times when I've been trying to 'sell' the power of Twitter to others. I know it's not a unique story because this is what makes the combination of Twitter and Conferences so great, but as I said this was the early days of Twitter and you know what they say about The First Time. Here's my version of the story.
We were chatting (on Twitter) during a workshop at this conference. We agreed to try to actually find each other during the break and shared what we were wearing. My colleague was sitting next to me and as the 'I'm wearing a blue dress' pinged through, he tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the person in a blue dress next to me.
Hearing her talk at #BrewEdFE it felt that she was talking directly to me. She spoke about engaging in Brave Research, which resonated with the practitioner research group I attended at ReimagineFE last year. Attending ReimagineFE was one was Those Moments last year that put me on the path to my EdD.
I'm now a year, and three modules, in to my EdD. I am reading reading reading like crazy, trying to get a grasp on what I want to study, where this fits into the current field and find the gap that will be my original contribution. My aims are like a rainbow, at times bright and colourful for all to see only then to fade and dim then disappear leaving a faint memory of what was and could be. I'm trying to be a Good Researcher, to find out what I want to study before finding the methodology that will allow me to answer the question.
Yet I am forever drawn to action research, which means putting method before question, and Alison has reminded me that this is where I need to be Brave. It is going to be difficult, so difficult that right now it's not something I'm even able to articulate to myself let alone to others. It's like 'time' - you know exactly what time is, until you come to have to explain it. My personal biography is an important aspect that I need to draw and reflect upon. Thank you to the organizers of #BrewEdFE for bringing such a range of FE, HE and Inbetweeners together & for providing this valuable space which is helping me on my path to becoming a practitioner researcher.
I first chatted to Dr Alison Iredale on Twitter in those early days when we didn't really know what a #hashtag was for. It was at a conference some time around 2010. I don't recall which one, but it will undoubtedly have been something on learning technologies. Back then I either went to ESOL or tech events and NATECLA and the RSC-YH were prominent supporters of my CPD activity.
Meeting her again at #BrewEdFE we reminisced on our first meeting. She recalled what I was wearing and I remember her blue dress. It's a story I've told many times when I've been trying to 'sell' the power of Twitter to others. I know it's not a unique story because this is what makes the combination of Twitter and Conferences so great, but as I said this was the early days of Twitter and you know what they say about The First Time. Here's my version of the story.
We were chatting (on Twitter) during a workshop at this conference. We agreed to try to actually find each other during the break and shared what we were wearing. My colleague was sitting next to me and as the 'I'm wearing a blue dress' pinged through, he tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the person in a blue dress next to me.
Hearing her talk at #BrewEdFE it felt that she was talking directly to me. She spoke about engaging in Brave Research, which resonated with the practitioner research group I attended at ReimagineFE last year. Attending ReimagineFE was one was Those Moments last year that put me on the path to my EdD.
I'm now a year, and three modules, in to my EdD. I am reading reading reading like crazy, trying to get a grasp on what I want to study, where this fits into the current field and find the gap that will be my original contribution. My aims are like a rainbow, at times bright and colourful for all to see only then to fade and dim then disappear leaving a faint memory of what was and could be. I'm trying to be a Good Researcher, to find out what I want to study before finding the methodology that will allow me to answer the question.
Yet I am forever drawn to action research, which means putting method before question, and Alison has reminded me that this is where I need to be Brave. It is going to be difficult, so difficult that right now it's not something I'm even able to articulate to myself let alone to others. It's like 'time' - you know exactly what time is, until you come to have to explain it. My personal biography is an important aspect that I need to draw and reflect upon. Thank you to the organizers of #BrewEdFE for bringing such a range of FE, HE and Inbetweeners together & for providing this valuable space which is helping me on my path to becoming a practitioner researcher.
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